Friends and Lovers

I'm tired today. I worked overnight, and the simple tasks of my job are driving me up the wall. I am gritting my teeth trying to not yell at people.

Unfortunately for one of my friends, he takes the opportunity to involve me in a texting conversation that is literally sapping my will to live. I remember when I loved texting because it relieved me from having conversations with people, that took up time I could be doing something else. I could instead text AND get my project accomplished.

Now however, people know that our cell phones are glued to our hands and no one goes five feet from them, so if you don't immediately text back, you're obviously ignoring them. And please tell me, whats wrong with that?

If I see someone on the street and I know them, I say hi. They say hi back. If we have a second, one or the other may say, how have you been? At no part in this exchange are you required to stop everything you're doing and focus on the other person explicitly.

So, first off, I've been letting my phone blink with the message for about ten minutes inbetween messages. By the time I pick it up, there are usually one or two messages to reply to, I do, and then I set my phone back down and walk away. We got rid of the damn corded wall phones because they were inconvient and anchored us down. But we were at least still free when we left the house! Now I'm anchored 24/7, unless I turn the phone off, and stick it in the bottom of my sock drawer!

But the annoyance is not the real rant. I'm annoyed by the rain right now, and I LOVE when it rains. I'm even annoyed at how poorly I'm typing, man, no sleep is awesome! My real cause for thought is that months ago this friend of mine and I had considered some "open relationship" kinda stuff. Not that I find him or his wife overly attractive, but more for the idea of it all. Well, now, my relationship has changed and I'm not interested in even being flirty with him. He's still a good friend of mine, but, well, once you've crossed that line and let flirting enter in, its really hard to go back to when you all were just buds hanging out. Or, at least, if you can do that, I don't know how.

So, since I'm a wuss and I've never said that I'm not interested anymore, I can barely fault him for leading his conversations with statements about being bored and wanting something different. We all know guy babble, they're not looking for a new hobby to pass the time, they want you to flirt with them and bring some excitement back into their life. But, again, since I'm a wuss, I'm being totally dishonest to my friend and ignoring his subtle attempts at a flirtatious conversation.

Silly thing is that when I think about it, from his point of view, which is more injurious, being ignored by me, or simply being told that circumstances have changed? Ya, guess I answered my own question there.